No Two Week Notice

So I’m not sure whether anyone would be surprised to hear this–Jason broke up with Sarah today. Yes, after having asked her out just over two weeks ago. Sarah, of course, is heartbroken since she has been pining after this kid for over half a year now. We have no idea why he broke up with her, just something about “not being ready” or some other typical guy reason. The poor girl was so upset today that I decided to take her out.

One of my co-workers recommended this restaurant in the city, so I called to make reservations for a late dinner. Sarah and I decided that even though it’s October, we’d put on our dresses and heels and head out. Dinner was fabulous! I usually don’t mind spending a little more than average on a nice meal though I feel bad when I encourage others to do the same… but considering how much Sarah spends on her clothes, this wasn’t too big of a deal I don’t think. We splurged on three courses and drinks, and it was so, so worth it.

Sarah had such a good time that she even asked our incredible waiter to take photos for us, and her stride to the door had a definite bounce in it.

“Hey, Roommate,” Sarah said on the way home, “thanks for taking me out tonight. I really needed it.”

It feels really nice to be able to make my roommate happy, especially since whatever I do is hardly ever good enough for her.  Hopefully this was genuine happiness and not just her vulnerability talking.

It’s About Time

Jason, Sarah’s hipster crush, decided to ask her out tonight. The boy finally steps up after hooking up with her during finals week last spring, and then leaving her hanging for five months. For some odd reason, I can’t see this is going to go very far. I just don’t trust a guy who thinks it’s okay to call a girl up or to peace out on her whenever he feels like it. As much as I am irritated by Sarah’s habits, she doesn’t deserve to have this guy jerk her around, and I know that that is exactly what is going to happen. Better get the chocolate ready.

Icing on the Cake

After the last cake fiasco, Sarah decided to bake cupcakes this week. I would usually object to her using the kitchen (because she never cleans up after herself, surprise, surprise), but I figured cupcakes = individual portions = I actually get to eat some this time.

After spreading the vanilla icing on top of the moist chocolate cupcakes, Sarah left the tub of icing to hang out on its own–knife sticking out of the opened canister and all. I decided not to clean up after her this time, so I just let the icing sit on the counter for two days, making a mental note not to eat anything else spread with the now dust-infused stuff.

I came home yesterday to find the tub gone. Awesome! The Queen of Laziness has finally learned to pick up her crap! Then I noticed the empty can in the trash can, while Hannah was sitting on the living room couch (exactly where she was when I had left six hours prior)… eyes glazed over at the TV, spooning globs of icing straight from a new tub into her mouth.

I can’t decide if Hannah’s insatiable consumption problem is good or bad for the cleanliness of our apartment….

Quick Update on the First Day of Class

So far, living with Hannah hasn’t been too bad. I’ve been making a conscious effort to include her in things and to make her feel like a part of our tight-knit (ha, right) apartment.

Hannah asked me to help her pick out clothes for the first day of class, which hopefully means that she trusts me and likes me enough already. I’m excited at the possibility of having an ally in the house, especially since the Sara(h)s haven’t been as pleasantly receptive.

I can see why they haven’t warmed up to her; they probably think she’s beneath them. I’m sure their reasons are perfectly reasonable too–Hannah doesn’t wear Seven jeans, she’s a junior transfer from community college, and she’s a little too overweight to be a hipster.

In my mind, as long as she doesn’t mind me eating bacon or shellfish, she’s all right with me.

Salvageable

Now that Sarah is gone for the next week, things in my apartment have returned to normal–in the regular dictionary sense.

Jules and I back to our cleaning-in-our-underwear and making-fruit-cobbler ways. I feel significantly less cranky when I don’t have to wash anyone else’s dishes or take out overflowing trash bins alone. Jules and Victoria do their shares of the chores without complaint, and I love it.

Unfortunately, both are packing to move out in the next few days so that Sara can come back from DC and Hannah can move in. I’m so disappointed because living with Jules has been the best thing that has ever happened to me in this apartment. She was so supportive during a jerk guy crisis, and I loved hearing about how she was kind of stalked by a guy in her summer class. Victoria has mostly kept to herself, but I will always remember the day she did a really sexy booty shake in my doorway.

And in less than two weeks, everything will be back to normal–in our sense of the word, aka “hair-pulling inducing”.

Jules

During finals week of Spring semester, I hid out in my office a lot; the conference rooms were great for studying. My co-worker, Matt, was there until 6 AM every day trying to meet a deadline, so we spent a lot of time together. We had tons of fun “working/studying”, and I felt like I had made a really good friend. So it made me feel a little bit weird when he and my roommate started getting along a little too well.

On the 4th of July, Jules and I went to watch the fireworks with Matt and some of his friends. It turned into a big roof party where I ran into several other friends. While I was catching up with them, Jules and Matt were hitting it off. Since then, Jules has been not-so-secretly trying to see Matt again. She planned a small dinner party like the last one we had. Sarah invited Hipster Rob again, I invited my friend Nicole, and Jules invited Matt.

Matt showed up first and the two of them immediately became immersed in their own conversation over their beers. When Nicole arrived, we retreated to my room to leave them alone. Rob stayed with Sarah to try to join their conversation. In my room, Nicole and I quickly assessed the situation.

“Roommate, I thought you were inviting me to a dinner party! That was totally awkward out there. What’s going on with those two?”

“Is it bad that Jules making a play for Matt bothers me?” I asked. “I just wish she had told me straight out instead of pretending like this was supposed to be a party for everyone.”

A little while later, Rob and Sarah came into my room, both miffed.

“What is going on with Jules and Matt?” Sarah demanded. “That was so awkward!”

“They didn’t even offer us a beer!” Rob complained indignantly.

“Well, I remember Jules telling me that she and Matt had a mini-drinking contest between the two of them, so they probably need those few cans,” I explained. “I’ll ask her about it afterward.”

“Whatever, we’re going to go smoke.” Sarah and Rob left to smoke out on the porch.

Later that night, when Jules and I were both in our beds, I worked up the guts to tell Jules that I knew she had a thing for Matt.

“Why did you hide it from me? It would’ve been a lot less awkward if you had just gone out with Matt and avoided the whole dinner party thing altogether. Nicole, Sarah, and Rob were asking me about it after the awkward situation in the kitchen!”

“I know, I’m so sorry! I was afraid of how you’d react and of maybe messing things up,” Jules explained sincerely.

The conversation turned into a really good and emotional discussion, and I feel like I understand why Jules and I sometimes clashed despite the fun times we have together. She and I are from completely opposite upbringings, so our perspectives on many situations are very distinct (she’s the eternal optimist, whereas I’m the cynical realist). I think we both came away from that talk understanding each other a lot better, which means only more good roommate times to come!

Yellow Dish Gloves

Having Jules as a roommate is a Godsend. Ever since she moved in, our house has gotten cleaner without me having to clean it alone and we’ve been having these amazing homecooked meals every evening. I really enjoy cooking, but making dinner for everyone alone had made me resentful and bitter about it. Now Jules comes up with the most random things to prepare, and we have so much fun doing it.

Even cleaning has become so much less painful with Jules’s help. I never have to ask her to do dishes or vacuum or empty out the tub strainer. It feels so good to come home to a cute and considerate roommate, especially since I come up with really ridiculous things for us to do together and she usually complies.

For instance, we decided that the chore of scrubbing down the kitchen would be a lot more interesting if we did it only in our underwear and the huge yellow dish gloves. I am pretty stoked for the rest of the summer’s shenanigans.

Let’s Hope the System Works

Sarah has decided to take the MCAT at the end of the summer, so she’s taking night classes and studying for the next two months. This means she will be even moodier and more pretentious, and there will be less cleaning on her part (I doubt we’ll even notice the difference).

I’m more than a little concerned about her career choice, seeing as she doesn’t really seem to care about people, much less her future patients. One of my aunts, who is a pediatrician, swears that unless you are passionate about medicine, you won’t make it through to the M.D. because it takes more than just brains to survive. So the best we can do is hope that the system will weed out people like Sarah.

My Deal Makers/Breakers

Just for fun, and so that you guys can learn a little bit more about me, I’m going to post my deal makers and deal breakers too.

Deal Makers

• articulate/good grammar
• handy around the house
• street smart
• tall enough for me to wear heels
• does chores without being asked
• good eating habits
• opens doors
• not too politically correct

Deal Breakers

• freeloaders
• long nails
• alcoholics
• politicians
• cheap
• pansies
• vegetarians
• doesn’t walk girls home at night
• creepers

The Roommates From Hell

Sometimes, women can blame their foul disposition on PMS, a valid excuse if used sparingly. Then there are the women who exhibit the cranky symptoms of PMS month-long, making life a living hell for any unfortunate soul that steps into the room. They have no excuse, other than being irascible bitches who have very little to do but deride others.

I live with two such women, in an apartment near a university campus. As though life were not dramatic enough, I have to put up with perpetually dissatisfied roommates who take out their unhappiness on those around them, i.e. me. While I am about to rip my hair out in frustration, perhaps you will find the insanity 1. entertaining or 2. outrageous, and then if you ever run into my roommates on the street, you can 1. laugh or 2. punch them in the face.